Reply To: Assignment #5: First Draft

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Christy Tucker

Your scenario has gotten so long! You really have a ton of content here, so I know this is a lot of effort. I am getting to the point where it’s tricky to follow in the poof PDF, so I’m looking forward to seeing it in an actual published version next week so I can click through the choices and follow the story more easily.

Since 3 of the subordinates have both first and last names, it might be helpful to give Mitchell a last name too for consistency. Also, Mitchell is typically a male name, so I was surprised to see that this character is female in her complaint against Dean. Maybe you could make Mitchell her last name, and give her a more obviously female name since it seems relevant to the complaint.

Also, I didn’t catch it in your earlier draft, but usually Korean first names have two parts. His first name would probably be Seo Jung, with the last name Woong. The South Koreans I have known have always used both parts of their first names unless we were familiar enough to use a nickname.

If you want to check that the learners have visited all 4 character intros before continuing, you can add multiple conditions to the if: macro. Right now, they really only need to view one intro.

(if: (visited:”Dean Hadebe”) and (visited:”Sabarina Ali”) and (visited: “Mitchell”) and (visited:”Seo Jungwoong”))[[[Continue->Abdul’s challenge]] ]

When you use HTML code in Harlowe, you just need the individual element that you’re including (e.g., everything inside img src=… Take out the DOCTYPE, head, and body tags. (Edit: I had to remove the < brackets around the image tag because the forum wants to treat it as actual HTML. You'll need them here and in the other image below.) For your actual image, you can use a relative path instead of C:\. That way, when you publish it, you'll publish the whole folder with the story and images together. That means it will look like this: img src="/images/Abdul Introduction.png" align="extreme left" alt="An introductory photo of Abdul Mohammed with a smile on his face" style=margin-right:100px;margin-left: 40px;margin-top: 20 px; I have some examples with images here so you can see how to do it without all the extra HTML code.

If you want to add some CSS styles (rather than enchant macros), you can do that in the Stylesheet for your story, rather than in the individual passages. In the menu, click Story, then Stylesheet. Enter your CSS there (just the style definitions, not any other headers labeling it as a style since that's already part of Twine).

When you give learners the opportunity to return back, consider changing the phrasing. "Return to select the right option" is OK, but maybe "Return to select a different option" might be received a little differently. It doesn't feel as much like incorrect feedback (and your consequences already make it clear that this was a bad choice).

Your scenario is definitely coming together! You've made a lot of progress so far.