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Looks great Nathalie! I bet you have learned so much about developing in Storyline now. It looks really good overall. I found a couple of little technical glitches, but overall I think you have a very consistent style and a polished looking piece. The scenario itself flows nicely. I normally think Yes/No questions are too easy, but I think having a choice of “was this the best option?” works in this scenario. It still might be too obvious, just because people will assume that you’re asking because it’s wrong. That might be worth getting feedback from learners about, to see if they think it’s too obvious of a choice.
You should be really proud of all you’ve accomplished!
Emily, your scenario is looking great overall! If you would like to share your Twine file and background image with me, I can do some troubleshooting with the formatting. Maybe I can figure out a way to get it to work without the gradient creeping up on the bottom so much.
One other formatting issue I see is that there’s a lot of whitespace on the feedback passage at the end. If you put {} around the feedback messages, that should reduce the whitespace on that passage.
Reading through it again now, I think the feedback works. I know that has been a tricky balance. You have a consistent tone and perspective throughout, which is effective. The feedback if the patient dies feels like a better fit with the seriousness of that complication.
Great work! You have put so much effort into this over the last 2+ months. I think it’s going to be really valuable for your students.
Looks great! The images with the CSS float all look to be working well on my screen. Functionally, everything seems to be running smoothly.
I wonder if you might want to tweak the color scheme from what was in my example. The vibrant colors in the background don’t coordinate very well with the blues in the sidebar and links. You could grab some colors from the background photo, or maybe from your corporate branding colors.
Overall, I think your wrong choices feel pretty plausible throughout. I can imagine people making most of those mistakes. But, I think “Blame Mr. Bauer for the high invoice” might be a little too obviously wrong. Do you think that might be too easy? Maybe you could reword that to still be the same choice, but a more tempting mistake.
Maybe something like this would be less obvious?
“Tell Mr. Bauer he’s responsible for all calls on his line.”
“Explain customer responsibility for calls.”Those are both fundamentally the same choice as what you have right now, but focusing on the customer responsibility rather than “blame.”
That’s very picky feedback though. Overall, I think this is a very solid scenario! I hope you are able to implement it and get additional feedback from your stakeholders and learners.
Great! I’m glad you were able to get it.
In case anyone else is looking for it, it’s on the My Courses or My Account page at the top. It’s an icon next to the Complete indicator.
See the screenshot here:
https://app.screencast.com/mfvyEIzDZUCYyActually, I’m going to see if I can make that a little easier to find. It’s not very obvious right now.
Aha! Don’t use {} on the passage with your text. The {} needs to go on the Style passage, around everything in that passage (and nowhere else).
The Style passage has a tag “header,” which tells Twine to put everything in that passage at the top of every passage in the story. Right now, the Style passage has a bunch of code on multiple lines, so Twine is showing that as empty space at the top of each passage.
If you collapse the white space in the Style passage, it will effectively make it all one empty line at the top of each passage (which is OK–it’s a little padding).
Lots of great things here already! Some of the feedback here is focused on minor things to polish the final product. I’m being deliberately picky here!
It looks like you have a lot of empty space at the top of your passages. I’m guessing you have some style in your style passage that isn’t enclosed in {} to collapse the whitespace.
There’s a lot of whitespace between the bullet points on the intro screen. Does it need to be spaced out that much?
Will this scenario really take 15-30 minutes to complete? I’m guessing it’s closer to 10 minutes (unless you’re planning to add audio later).
I like the addition of Madison as the person to train in this revised version. It puts the learners in the position of being in the role they want to be, but thinking about how they’d explain it to someone else.
I can also see that you made a number of your choices shorter, with phrases rather than full sentences or long options. You eliminated a lot of repetitive text that way. I think that works really effectively, and it feels more usable with shorter button text.
I do wonder if you would be better off just using more traditional link text formatting rather than button text because you’re using so much sentence completion. It might flow more naturally with the sentences, the way a lot of more typical interactive fiction does it. (See nanopesos for an example with just regular link formatting, just in the specific color scheme.) https://laburatory.itch.io/nanopesos
What do the rest of you think? Does it work OK with the buttons, or would link text within sentences flow more smoothly?
I got the “exemplary performance” feedback the first time (only because I’ve now seen it enough to recognize the ideal path). On my second time through, I got the outcome where Brian dies. I feel like “Areas for improvement” is probably too soft of wording for something where the outcome was a patient death. Can that be stated in a way to acknowledge more explicitly that this was clearly a terrible outcome? “Areas for improvement” might be OK for some lower scores, but if I made every wrong choice possible and the patient died, I think stronger feedback is appropriate.
If they choose “Begin cooling measures” at the beginning, is there any way to recover to get back to the ideal path? Or is that something that, in real life, they’d never really have an opportunity to reach an ideal outcome?
This is a great scenario though! You have real stakes and consequences (the patient’s condition worsening,
It’s in the same spot for the browser-based version of Twine. Go to the Story menu, then click Stylesheet.
Wow! I know you don’t have a ton of experience with Storyline, so this really looks lovely already! You will get faster with time, but you already have so much progress. I think you have captured that Short Sims style with the buttons at the bottom (but I think this is actually a little easier to read because the text is a little larger).
The meter on the side doesn’t take up much screen space, but it really shows valuable feedback on progress. It looks very smooth!
BTW, since you’re using Review, it is quite handy to make comments on individual passages. This is one of the big advantages of Storyline or Twine. You can mute the notifications so you don’t get so many emails. https://articulate.com/support/article/Articulate-Review-How-to-Change-the-Frequency-of-Email-Notifications
I’m going to nitpick a bit with my feedback because I think this is good enough to do so.
1. Sometimes your text isn’t centered inside the button. Some of the buttons aren’t quite aligned either. Try adding some guidelines for yourself to make the placement easier, and use the alignment buttons to make them all consistent. https://app.screencast.com/NdnaIFxclNOEW
2. On the passage starting “There is a long line…,” I recommend changing the text to say “A woman in a flowy dress” instead of “A female…” There are times when you need to say male and female in this scenario, but right at the beginning I think just calling her a woman is probably the right choice.
3. On this slide, hovering on one button changes the hover state of all the buttons. Are they grouped maybe? https://app.screencast.com/TVjpK0LVnxkTZ
4. After “I’m having trouble finding it, is there another name associated with your record by any chance,” it loops back to her saying she goes by Samantha or Sam, which we saw earlier. I don’t think that’s the right passage to link to. If you have anything more built, I can’t get past that loop.
5. You have a sample slide–I’m assuming that’s because this is still in development.Great start though! The overall look and feel is really good.
I think changing the colors and formats in Twine is fun too! It does require a fair amount of trial and error, but you can see the results quickly.
Looking at the length of your options, I see two issues.
1. The right answers are often the longest choices. That’s a giveaway that it’s the right answer.
2. The options are maybe a little on the long side overall.For example, here’s the current choices for one passage.
——————
[[Thank you so much, by watching you I learned how to better manage X. I want to be respectful
of your time, can you recommend someone who may be able to show me the best way to do Y or
Z? ]]
[[Thank you so much, by watching you I learned __________. It was very helpful, have a good day.]]
[[“Thank you for including me. I’ll see you at the next meeting. Goodbye.” and hangs up.]]
——————-The “thank you” is included in all of the choices, so that can probably go in the passage itself.
Revised version
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After the Zoom call, Katie says thank you. What should she do next?[[Mention something specific she learned and ask for recommendations for other people to speak to.]]
[[Express gratitude for learning specific tips and tell Susie it was very helpful.]]
[[Avoid asking Susie for anything else so you don’t make too many requests in a short period of time.]]
——————
In the revised version, the choices are much closer in length. I also built a reason into the bad choice so it’s a more tempting mistake than “hang up.” After this, you could put the exact dialogue that you wrote into the next passage that they see as a consequence. The dialogue still works, and it’s helpful to see how you say things. But, maybe the dialogue would be better not in the actual choices.In your next revision, I also think it would be helpful to fill in some of the placeholders like X, Y, Z. You can probably find any generic sales content for that, but I think it pulls you out of the scenario to have those placeholders.
Hi Terry,
Looks like I am behind in reviewing as well! I’m glad to see how this is coming together. I think the ideal path here flows nicely. I like how even if you make the ideal choices that you still run into some obstacles of people being too busy. That makes this a good practice for persisting through those challenges.
I also like how the ideal path will have some fast forwarding in time to show the reward of the trip to Hawaii. That’s a smart strategy for your scenario, and it ties directly to the goal you said in the beginning.
I have seen it happen before, but I’m not actually sure why it happens. I haven’t found any obvious reason why some images don’t work.
Instead of using the enchant macros for the background, could you try doing it with CSS instead? This tutorial explains how to use an image in the background via the Stylesheet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2xl9JaGqpM
The code is
tw-story {
background-image:url(“ENTER YOUR URL HERE”);
background-size:cover;
}I suspect it needs that “background-size” property for your image, but that’s not available via the enchant macro.
Wow, you have accomplished so much! This is really coming together. And yes, it’s bigger than you probably originally planned, but I think the structure overall works. Great work figuring out how to hide and show the advanced feedback too!
I think you probably don’t need the “Your decision” section at the top. You’re already showing that through the dialogue; you don’t need to also tell them. In some cases, you might need to add a little more description in the Dialogue section, but mostly it’s just repetitive content.
In a few places, you might have to hide the advanced feedback because it doesn’t actually fit. For example, if you approach the female customer first, then approach the male customer, you still get the advanced feedback noting that checking in with the customer who had been longer might be better. You could hide that by checking if the passage approaching the female customer is visited or not.
I’m not sure that the button text of “Advanced Feedback” is going to be completely clear what that’s for. Could you label that something to make the purpose clear, so people want to click it (or at least understand it)? Maybe “Additional Feedback” or “Want to learn how to improve?”
Another option might be to differentiate this at the very beginning. If you intend for that advanced feedback to only be for more experienced employees, you could ask at start if people have been working for MyMobile for less than a year or more than a year (or whatever threshold you want). Then, you could track that as a variable and show the feedback for people who indicate they have been working there longer, and hide it for people who have been there less than a year.
I’m not sure you need to randomize the order of the choices. I think the scenario is interesting enough that people aren’t going to simply randomly click.
CSS might be the best way to change the color of the popup. What is the code you’re currently using? (As much as I like itch.io for hosting, it prevents me from seeing the code behind the scenes.)
I’m backing up and catching up on feedback on some earlier versions. When I reviewed your ideal path, I focused mostly on that path, but this time I went through some more of the alternate options.
I think you could potentially show some more consequences on those alternate paths. For example, if they select the choice that MH is too rare, then you could jump forward in time to show consequences. Maybe Brian dies–or at least has a serious health problem. Maybe he gets worse, but another nurse notices and jumps in to intervene–with a note that he might have died without that additional help. If you show consequences like that, you may not even need the text feedback of “even though it’s rare, MH can be fatal.”
You do have some loops in this structure. For example, if you choose Review patients chart, then Assess Symptoms, then Generalized complications, you then end up back at Assess Symptoms as your only choice. Are you planning to add some feedback there? That could work if the link text is “Go back” or “Try again” instead of “Assess symptoms.”
